Discover more from Women's Survival Guide
Why read this?
New Pel's Picks and A miss mash of this and that WSG 70
Here comes July, ready or not. As you know, I am working on an expanded version of WSG because….it’s time to get jiggy with it! Don’t worry, we will still have Mavens and my random ramblings. But, there is no end to the subjects we can talk about. As women. As partners. As daughters. As sisters. As mothers. As workers. As retirees. As fat, thin, political, apolitical, vegetarian, omnivore, pet lover, lover, hermit, dancer, comedian, biker, addict, actor, historian, doctor, victor, lawyer, masseuse, trainer, recovering, fiction lover, cat person, dog person, child free by choice, grandmother, stepmother, walker, runner, skier, golfer, trap shooter, and on and on.
So, it occurred to me to ask….
Why do you read this?
I wonder, what do you like about Women’s Survival Guide?
What would you like to see more of? Less of?
What new topic would you like for me to cover? Please email me, if you’re shy email@example.com
or to get a conversation rolling click below:
TEAM OF REGULARS
My plan is to create a team of regulars that will rotate through WSG and speak to the issues in which they are expert and answer your questions.
Categories may include: Mental Health, Style, Travel, Skin Care, Food, Finance, Sex, Organization. What else? Do you have ideas for categories? Professionals to fill the roles? Please share! firstname.lastname@example.org
Pel’s Picks! #2
“Stalking Shakespeare” by Lee Durkee
If nothing else, you will enjoy Durkee’s wit, and no doubt you will come away enlightened for having joined in this madcap adventure.
“Foster” by Claire Keegan
A young girl’s summer stay reveals a family secret in this short, simple story that touches upon the depths of emotion and relationships.
“The Wager” by David Grann
A historical high seas adventure/shipwreck that leaves you scratching your head saying “Why didn’t they ….” It’s unclear what actually happened as first hand accounts varied, a dilemma the authorities grappled with in trying to determine if the survivors were heroes or should be put to death.
Thoughts on negative self talk. In case you missed it!
Everyone’s a critic. Of themselves. I find myself saying the above words out-loud a fair amount. Is it a sign of trying to relate to others, “Hey, look at me, I can totally relate to you because I am humble.” It is a trait of many, many women trying to hide their intelligence: “Well, even I know how to read directions.” Or a sign of judgement of another’s lack of intelligence: “Even I know how to do that…and you don’t?!”
Whatever it is, starting a sentence with the words “Even I ….” cannot be a good thing for one’s self love. Would you say to your kid seriously “Even you know how to do X”? Not if you liked your kid or wanted them to grow up feeling good about themselves. So, why do I say that to myself? I don’t really know. More importantly, how do I stop?
When I say “even I know how to get to Cambridge” the inside joke I that I have a painfully terrible sense of direction. So, if I know how to get to Cambridge, you should have no problem getting there. Usually when I say “Even I…” it’s followed by the word “know.” So, I am implying that I have a low level of intelligence but can pull off whatever it is I am referring to and if you can’t then you are dumber then I am. Nice! But, I don’t think that is typically the use of the “Even I..” phrase when I use it. I believe I am trying to be relatable. Like, “look, we all have flaws. Don’t sweat it.”
We weren’t born negatively talking to ourselves. I’m no therapist, but I am guessing that we collect experiences over time, starting when we are young, that create the voice in our head. For me, I knew I was bad at school at a very young age. My best friend was not. She was always in the “A” group. I was always in the “C” group. I had tutoring for my awful handwriting with Mrs. Flake. I think it was during recess. It was embarrassing. I remember standing up in front of the class for our fourth grade weekly spelling bee and being the first to sit down. I had no doubt how dumb I was. It was made crystal clear every day in every class. Maybe this is why I often hear my inner voice say how glad I am to be a grown up.
It’s funny, because my inner voice is actually pretty nice to me. Despite the “even I…” part, I generally support myself in what it is I am trying to do. I give myself a break for not being good at all sorts of things because I am pretty good at all sorts of other things. Perhaps this is the key to dissolving negative self-talk: See the spectrum, not the color. Know what I mean? I Googled negative self-talk and there are a billion sites that deal with it so I am not going to link to anything. Except, maybe this.
That concludes another brain flexing edition of WSG…
Think nice thoughts about yourself…
Women's Survival Guide is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.